active listening

more than meets the ear

What is listening?

Hear = to know that a sound is being made, using your ears

Listen = to pay attention to what someone is saying or to a sound that you can hear

(Longman Web Dictionary)

Listening is therefore a choice – choose when to receive rather than deflect what you've heard.

Active listening = to become actively involved in listening to improve the experience.

Wanting to listen

• It will provide information.
• It will give you an advantage.
• It helps relieve stress.
• Groups and teams can't function without it.
• Take the pressure off yourself – you don't always need to make a reply, so stop thinking about your response in advance.
• You understand a little more about the speaker – their language patterns, depth of knowledge, concerns, requirements etc.

And how do you know you've been listening?

• You have questions based on the overall point being made.
• You are aware of any subtext.
• You feel tired when the speaker is finished (listening takes effort).

Doing the listening

• Keep face and eye contact with the speaker.
• Keep an open mind. When listening try to stop your internal chatterbox interrupting.
• If your attention drifts, change your body position.
• Refocus on the actual words being said; focus on key words.

Practice being a good listener at any opportunity, in a shop, over dinner, with friends.

Perhaps we could aim to listen twice as much as we speak - after all we do have TWO ears!